


You've Got It Bad

by memewife



Series: Wayhaven Week 2020 [4]
Category: The Wayhaven Chronicles (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aspin and Morgan are best friends, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Main focus is on friendship but there are some bits of relationship stuff, book 2 spoilers!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25277734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memewife/pseuds/memewife
Summary: “Fuck, do I love her?” She leaves her cigarette hanging in her mouth as she pushes her bangs back.“Sure seems like it, champ.”---------You know you're bad at feelings when even MORGAN figures it out before you.
Relationships: Female Detective/Natalie "Nat" Sewell
Series: Wayhaven Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827400
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	You've Got It Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 4 for Wayhaven Week 2020: Tranquility!

Aspin’s sure that this must be what it feels like to be dying. She’s been through broken noses more than a few times, she’s been stabbed, she felt the way her body burned as Murphy altered her blood forever. Even having felt pain so many times, this was different. Now, her whole body aches, an intense rush of tangled emotions clawing through her and threatening to make her head explode. _This isn’t how this is supposed to feel_. She groans softly and runs her free hand through her bangs as she stares down at Nat. Thankfully, she’s still sleeping soundly, even with Aspin fidgeting next to her. She relishes the contact, the feeling of being needed, but at the same time, she can’t stop looking at the bandages and bruises that dare to mar her perfect face. She feels like her skin is crawling. She wants to scream. She doesn’t.

Slowly, throat tight, Aspin starts to ease herself off of Nat’s bed. In just about any other situation, she’d be happy to be there, but now, she can’t even bring herself to think about how sexy this situation could have been. No, how it should’ve been. For the first time in years, she feels tears pool at her eyes.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she whispers, careful movements finally bringing her to her feet again. She is absolutely not going to allow herself to cry. She will not- a single tear slips down her cheek before her face contorts into a hard scowl. She has made difficult choices before. Choices that have hurt people. This shouldn’t be any different. Hell, she’d directly saved Sanja’s life. And less than an hour ago, she’d seen Nat smile, she’d seen Nat blush. She’ll be fine, and Aspin knows it. But still she feels like she’s eaten a particularly nasty handful of broken glass. 

There’s something wrong with her. Something new, at least. Aspin takes a ragged breath, composing herself as she rubs her thumb across the back of Nat’s hand. It terrifies her just how much she’s come to care about Nat, how even the smallest little gesture gives her immense comfort. Aspin’s vulnerable, and it fucking sucks. She bites her lip hard, taking one breath, then another. No, she’s almost as strong as she pretends she is. She just needs to get away, that’s all. Aspin glances to where her fingers lock with Nat’s and her heart wrenches again. Breaking that last little bit of contact _hurts_ , but she hesitates before fleeing. Nat deserves so much better than waking up alone, but Aspin can’t quite give her that.

At the very least, she manages to reverently brush a strand of hair out of Nat’s face as she dips down to kiss Nat’s cheek. She was here. She cares. She’s just a coward who can’t quite tell what she’s thinking. Without another look back, she slips out of Nat’s room. 

Now, a more familiar feeling rises in Aspin: panic. Her breaths are shallow and she just about feels like she’s suffocating inside. She needs out, _now._ She walks quickly through the warehouse, heels clicking loudly against the wooden floors as she stops caring about keeping quiet. She reaches for the pack of cigarettes she hides in her jacket, even as Nat’s gentle scolding rings in her ears. _“Those things will kill you.” “Your life is precious, you know.” “You’re precious to me.”_ Damn, that stings too. It just makes her cling tighter to the carton and her lighter as she makes her way out into the open air. 

_Finally._ Tranquility. The cool breeze against her skin and the promise of nicotine ground her. Even so, Aspin’s hand shakes just the slightest bit as she flips open the box… only to throw her head back and groan. Empty. She’d told Nat she wouldn’t buy more. “Fuck me.” A barked laugh makes her realize she’s not alone. Aspin snaps to attention, only to relax a bit when she finds Morgan leaning up against the warehouse wall, smoking. She scolds herself mentally for not noticing her earlier as Morgan takes a long drag. 

“I would, but I don’t think Nat would be very happy with me.” Relief floods Aspin. At the very least, out of all of Unit Bravo, it’s Morgan. She gets Morgan a lot more easily than anyone else. Hell, she doesn’t even understand Nat, really, aside from the basic drive she feels to get close to her. 

“Aw, no fun. Maybe you could at least spare me a smoke?” Aspin takes her usual place, slouching back against the wall a few feet away from Morgan. Morgan looks her over for a moment, weighing her options as she blows smoke out the side of her mouth. Gray eyes narrow and she frowns.

“Nat wouldn’t be happy about that either.” Still, she reaches into her pocket. “But you look like you’re about to jump out of your skin.” She flips the carton lid up and offers it out to Aspin, who gratefully pulls out a cigarette and sparks her lighter.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, angling her head up to watch the trees sway in the wind. “I mean, I do feel like shit.” She offers only a noncommittal shrug. The nicotine’s already doing its job: distracting, numbing. 

“You look like shit.” Morgan pauses. “No offense.”

“Hey, you were the one who said you’d fuck me.” Finally, Aspin cracks a smile. Being with Morgan is easy, uncomplicated. They just get each other. Maybe that was why Aspin had fallen into Unit Bravo so easily. At first, she’d been put off by how genuinely they all seemed to like her. Even Ava always regarded her with a respectful nod. Then, of course, there was the extremely complicated matter of Nat. Nat, who definitely seemed interested in her, but didn’t seem to want to sleep with her. Nat, who _wanted_ to hear about what she was thinking and feeling. Nat, who, apparently, can make her feel like she’s being carefully ripped apart.

“Fair enough. You look like hot shit.” Morgan’s throaty laugh brings her back to the moment. Aspin throws a smile her way before allowing a comfortable silence to settle between them. She focuses on the bitter smoke she pulls into her mouth to avoid overthinking again. But she feels Morgan’s eyes on her.

“Hey, don’t stare too much. Keep that up and you might actually make Nat jealous.” Aspin dares a glance over, only to find Morgan looking… surprisingly serious. Serious enough that she swallows and makes eye contact.

“We both know that she doesn’t have anything to worry about. You’ve got the hots for her too.” Aspin scoffs, a knee-jerk reaction, before she backpedals a bit.

“What? I’m not- I’m not going soft or anything. I feel like I want to tell her about my day, sure, but that doesn’t mean anything. I-” She cuts herself off, wincing. She feels like a fucking fool.

“Sounds like you love her or something.” Morgan quirks an eyebrow before finally breaking eye contact. “Sounds pretty fucking soft to me.” This isn’t the sort of thing she takes any joy in meddling in, but watching Aspin run circles around Nat has started to grate on her. For someone who’s usually pretty good at handling herself, Aspin sure starts to lose brain cells when it comes to Nat.

“I don’t-” Aspin’s protest starts strong, but she promptly shuts her mouth. She thinks about it. She lets out a long sigh, watching the smoke billow up from her mouth. “Fuck, do I love her?” She leaves her cigarette hanging in her mouth as she pushes her bangs back.

“Sure seems like it, champ.” Morgan rolls her eyes. “Stop having a crisis over it. It’s not a bad thing.” A small smile graces her lips as she hears Aspin’s heart slow again. She’s calming down. “Besides, Nat won’t shut up about you. You’re fine.”

Aspin is quiet again for a long moment. “I guess I am,” she mutters, hesitance straining her voice.

“She’ll be fine in a day.” The lack of irritation in Morgan’s tone comes as a surprise. It’s softer than expected. Almost reassuring, though Aspin doesn’t dare to mention it.

“You’re the expert.” She sighs, rolling her shoulders forward. Her cigarette’s nearing the end of its life, and she snubs it out against the warehouse, enjoying the last little tendrils of smoke as they escape her mouth. She allows her eyes to flutter shut, just taking in her surroundings. The forest, the warehouse, Morgan’s steady, quiet presence. It’s one of many very distinct sorts of peace that Aspin has come to crave since meeting Unit Bravo. Six months ago, she never could have imagined that Nat, Farah, Ava, and Morgan would worm their ways into her life. The way Nat managed to get such a firm hold on her heart would have been even more unthinkable, _impossible_. Now, she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Damn, you’ve got it bad, Aspin.” Morgan whistles, low and drawn-out. She never thought she’d see Aspin grinning up at nothing like a love-sick fool. But then again, she’d never expected to actually like her company.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Her voice is soft, just barely above a whisper. She knows Morgan doesn’t need to strain to hear, and she’d rather spare herself the embarrassment of any accidental eavesdropping. “Thanks, Morgan.” 

* * *

Hours later, Nat stirs in her bed. She’s stiff, but her wounds are already considerably less painful. A gentle sigh passes from her lips as she shifts. Still sore, but she manages to sit back against her headboard easily enough. Aspin is gone, but she’d expected that. She’d played it cool when she’d visited, but she practically wreaked of some inner turmoil. It’s not exactly surprising that she needed some time to herself, and Nat’s grateful that she stayed until she was asleep. The plush bunny Aspin won with a well-placed shot and insisted she took catches her eye. Suddenly, Nat finds herself wishing she’d put it on a closer shelf. Still, though, she thinks she may be able to get it if she just leans enough. 

She pushes herself forward with a strained wheeze, but the twinge of pain is worth it when she manages to catch one of the rabbit’s ears. Nat pulls it toward her chest, leaning back again. Others may consider it childish, sure, but it means so much to her. She takes a deep breath, taking in Aspin’s lingering scent. She wonders if it would be selfish of her to invite her darling detective back to her room again. Something tells Nat that if her sheets were to always smell like Aspin, she might sleep a bit more soundly. Better yet, she looks forward to a day where they sleep nestled into one another. Surely _that_ would bless her dreams.

The thought makes her heart flutter. So much so that she nearly misses Aspin’s familiar heartbeat approach. _She hasn’t gone home?_ A wave of excitement rushes through Nat as Aspin’s footsteps stop at her bedroom, but she tempers herself. She hears the soft thunk of Aspin’s forehead hitting the door, then a whispered swear.

“Sorry I’m so shit at this,” Aspin whispers, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “I’ll get better. You deserve that.” She groans, then mumbles, “Dumbass coward can’t even say shit to her face.” Nat’s breath catches and she stills, afraid even the slightest rustle will give her away. She doesn’t want to scare Aspin away, no matter how elated she is to hear something like this, an expression of feelings not swaddled in sarcasm. Aspin lingers for a moment longer before starting to slump away. 

But then, yet another something unexpected happens: she stops and turns back. Nat tries to lower herself to the bed as quickly as is advisable as she hears the doorknob turn, but she’s caught about halfway down, clutching the stuffed rabbit tightly. Aspin stands in the door, staring with green eyes that flicker through a series of emotions before settling on resignation. She enters quickly, shutting the door behind her, then surges toward the bed.

“So. You were awake.” Worry creases her brow for a moment, but then she spots the toy and smiles.

“I was,” Nat admits, voice soft. Finally, she eases herself onto her back again.

“You heard my apology, then.” Aspin eyes the bed next to Nat, moving forward as though drawn into her pull. In all fairness, there truly is something magnetic about Nat to Aspin. She can’t help herself, and Nat only enables her by shifting to the side and patting the place next to her. 

“I did.” Aspin settles next to her not-quite-girlfriend with a quiet, pleased hum. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m just glad to have you here _now_.” The dull ache had been badgering Aspin for the past few hours starts to ease. She doesn’t have the words right now to respond appropriately, so she simply shuffles down, resting her head by Nat’s shoulder.

“Get some rest.” Nat’s smile in return is all Aspin needs to lose herself to tranquility again. 


End file.
